"WHOEVER DESPISES HIMSELF STILL ESTEEMS THE DESPISER WITHIN HIMSELF."
- Friedrich Nietzsche

How strange it is that we assume that self-criticism is not only always accurate (it isn't), but healthy (not when misplaced), while doubting that we are deserving of our successes. The "praiser" within us is labeled as arrogant, while the "despiser" within is praised as accurate. If we assimilate the unjust criticism of others (or ourselves) we end up agreeing to things we don't agree with and openly supporting ideas we inwardly oppose. This conflict WILL be noticed by others and the outcome will invariably be the opposite of what we hoped for.

"THE GREATEST DIFFICULTY IS THAT MEN DO NOT THINK ENOUGH OF THEMSELVES, DO NOT CONSIDER WHAT IT IS THAT THEY ARE SACRIFICING WHEN THEY FOLLOW IN A HERD, OR WHEN THEY CATER FOR THEIR ESTABLISHMENT."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I long ago accepted and adopted the coaching I received from my parents, kindergarten, teachers and other positive moral forces in my life. I have not always followed them, but I know that they are the real me and that whenever I have lost my moral compass, I have paid a heavy price. Whenever I follow these principles, loving me comes easy.

"IN ALL ASPECTS OF YOUR LIFE, BE CONTENT TO SEEM WHO YOU REALLY ARE."
- T.L.T.

"NEVER WORRY ABOUT YOUR SELF-ESTEEM. DEVOTE YOUR ENERGY TO IMPROVING YOUR CHARACTER. INTEGRITY IS THE ULTIMATE, AND HIGHEST, REWARD."
- T.L.T.

Because self-esteem is not a cold, hard, bottom line fact, but a very subjective choice:

"SELF-ESTEEM IS THE REPUTATION WE ACQUIRE WITH OURSELVES."
- Nathaniel Branden

If you are looking for emotional security, keep this in mind:

"TO LOVE ONESELF IS THE BEGINNING OF A LIFELONG ROMANCE."
- Oscar Wilde

It's true that others (either fortunately or unfortunately) may come and go, but few will want to go if you possess a solid love and respect for self. So, even when your moral compass goes on the blink, know that your real self is always there to welcome you back (as will your true friends). Particularly during times of economic insecurity, it is understandably easy to become consumed with our work and finances, but:

"DON'T LET WHAT YOU ARE DOING GET IN THE WAY OF WHO YOU TRULY ARE."
- James Arthur Ray

A psychologist/therapist friend of mine, Rick Taran, Ph.D., of Brentwood Tennessee recently helped me realize an extremely important point. There is great danger in making a decision based on what a person or situation has been or done in the past, for it ignores the infusion of us into the mix. I have always, very mistakenly, assumed that what people did in the past - they would again do in the future. Wrong! The formula is permanently altered and the outcome can be different than ever before, when we enter the situation with our talents, actions and yes, love. Understanding and acting upon this belief that we will dramatically alter future outcomes requires a high degree of self-esteem and allows us to operate out of a position of strength rather than weakness.

"YOU REALLY HAVE TO LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND FIND YOUR OWN INNER STRENGTH, AND SAY, "I'M PROUD OF WHAT I AM AND WHO I AM, AND I'M JUST GOING TO BE MYSELF."
- Mariah Carey

We all face enough obstacles without creating additional ones.

"LOW SELF ESTEEM IS LIKE DRIVING THROUGH LIFE ON SEVEN CYLINDERS INSTEAD OF EIGHT."
- T.L.T.

With this impaired "engine" performance, it is impossible to reach our maximum speed, Job performance, or level of accomplishment.

"SELF-ESTEEM ISN'T EVERYTHING; IT’S JUST THAT THERE'S NOTHING WITHOUT IT."
- Gloria Steinem

To expand on Gloria's statement, I think there is in fact plenty that is there, but if we don't feel good about ourselves, we just can't acknowledge, appreciate or enjoy it.

If you are a leader in any capacity, one of your chief responsibilities should always be to foster an environment that promotes the self-esteem of the TEAM as well as in each INDIVIDUAL member. If you assume that spending time and effort on lifting the self esteem of your "reports" is not your responsibility and has nothing to do with job performance, consider these words:

"OUTSTANDING LEADERS GO OUT OF THEIR WAY TO BOOST THE SELF-ESTEEM OF THEIR PERSONNEL. IF PEOPLE BELIEVE IN THEMSELVES, IT'S AMAZING WHAT THEY CAN ACCOMPLISH."
- Sam Walton

It has been my experience that outstanding leaders DO NOT BELIEVE in constructive criticism, they simply DO BELIEVE in being constructive. When a mistake is made on a new project or proposal, they praise the effort while helping to construct a different outcome for the future. Praise isn't reserved just for results, but for intent, effort and creativity as well. They know that with the proper shepherding, the results will come. Competent and compassionate leaders not only want a profitable, kick-ass organization, but one that is harmonious and rewarding to the individual employees.

"THERE IS OVERWHELMING EVIDENCE THAT THE HIGHER THE LEVEL OF SELF ESTEEM, THE MORE LIKELY ONE WILL BE TO TREAT OTHERS WITH RESPECT, KINDNESS, AND GENEROSITY."
- Nathaniel Branden

Wouldn't everyone prefer this atmosphere to prevail in his or her workplace? We know that when respect and harmony reign in the workplace, productivity and creativity is higher, so the promotion of individual and organizational pride should be ALL OF OUR responsibilities.

"WE CANNOT ALL BE MASTERS."
- William Shakespeare

As I point out in my book, "The Wisdom of Wolves: Nature's Way to Organizational Success", the Wolf pack thrives because each member has an important role to play. There is only one Alpha Male, but there is also an Alpha Female, Beta Male and Female and other role players within the pack. They are specialized, but first and foremost, they are pack, or TEAM members.