But let's face it, we all realize that:
"LIFE IS A ONE WAY STREET, AND WE ARE NOT COMING BACK."

So we "terribalize" about our circumstances, tending to view the lives of others as sheer perfection in motion, ignoring what we have known to be true throughout life; namely that:

"THE FELLOW THAT OWNS A HOUSE IS ALWAYS JUST COMING OUT OF A HARDWARE STORE."
- Kin Hubbard

It is us we have got to get out of the ditch. A truism:

"YOU CANNOT SAVE YOUR ASS AND YOUR FACE AT THE SAME TIME."

And the importance of the love of our friends at these times cannot be overestimated. REAL friends love you and will not leave you. So stop worrying about being deserted in your time of need:

"LOVE IS LIKE SEAWEED; EVEN IF YOU HAVE PUSHED IT AWAY, YOU WILL NOT PREVENT IT FROM COMING BACK."
- Nigerian Proverb

The wise person plays the hand that is dealt them, but always keeps the attitude that:

"I HAVE LEARNED NOT TO WORRY ABOUT LOVE, BUT TO WELCOME IT WITH ALL MY HEART."
- Alice Walker

Our friends have their own problems to deal with and cannot read our minds. We must let them know where we are at, what our needs are and what they can do to help. The following quote by Adrianne Rich is certainly NOT the way to come back:

"I KEEP COMING BACK TO YOU IN MY HEAD, BUT YOU COULDN'T KNOW THAT, AND I HAVE NO CARBONS."
- Adrienne Rich

I don't know about you, but as for me:
"IM NOT GOING TO GIVE ANYBODY FREE RENT IN MY HEAD."

Where I live (and I think in most places) we tend to greet each other with the perfunctory "Hey, how ya doin," or "Hi, how are you." Both of which are routinely answered with the perfunctory "Fine."

When I lived in New Orleans, I became accustomed to the greeting of, "Hey Twyman, where ya at, man?" And I would tell them about the raise I just got or the deal I missed, or my Daughter Laura's ear infection and they would do the same in return. We cared. We listened. We learned about each other.

"WHEN A MAN IS COMING TOWARD YOU, YOU DO NOT NEED TO SAY 'COME HERE."
- African Proverb

And then we would talk about the future and what we needed to do to make it go our way. We would imagine "overcoming" our problems and coming out on top.

"IMAGINATION IS EVERYTHING. IT IS THE PREVIEW OF LIFE'S COMING ATTRACTIONS."
- Albert Einstein

As we grapple to come back from adversity, we rely on our friends and our own innate resilience and fortitude. It is there within us, but must be nurtured and acknowledged:

"IT IS ONLY WHEN YOU ARE ASKED TO BELIEVE IN REASON COMING FROM NON-REASON THAT YOU MUST CRY HALT. HUMAN MINDS. THEY DO NOT COME FROM NOWHERE."
- C.S. Lewis

But that doesn't necessarily (though it might work for you) mean just finding or clinging to the hope of formal religion, it can be an even deeper and more personal understanding:

"RELIGION IS FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE AFRAID THEY'LL GO TO HELL. SPIRITUALITY IS FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN THERE."

For those of us with plenty of scars, nicks and wrinkles to decorate us, I offer this analysis from Angelina Jolie:

"I LIKE SOMEONE WHO IS A LITTLE CRAZY, BUT COMING FROM A GOOD PLACE. I THINK SCARS ARE SEXY BECAUSE IT MEANS YOU MADE A MISTAKE THAT LED TO A MESS."

I don't know about you, but Angelina would find me VERY SEXY - if scars will do the trick. But as painful as they have been, I can honestly say I don't regret them and take pride that I am still here and looking ahead.

Carpe diem
(Seize the day)