Twyman Towery is a Rule 31 Listed Civil/Family Mediator, a specialist in the mediation of civil conflicts. Mediation is an excellent method to keep conflicts out of court. Lawsuits are expensive, time consuming and often create irreparable damage between the parties.

Mediation gives people the chance to air their wounds and express their feelings of hurt. Intense conflict tends to generate misunderstanding and suspicion; many of these feelings evaporate when the parties are able to talk directly. When you enter into mediation, you are not bound by the rules of a formal court proceeding, so the parties can bring up whatever concerns them most. They are not strictly tied to the issues which make up the official public subject of dispute.

The final resolution of a mediation session is the written agreement. The mediator prepares an agreement that both parties sign to protect them from further friction and misunderstanding. By following this process, it is amazing how conflicts can be resolved.

If your organization has a problem that could be solved by mediation, rather than paraded through the court system, give Twyman a call and talk it over.

When does Mediation Work?

Mediation is most likely to resolve a conflict when:

• The parties sincerely desire a resolution, or at least a change.
• All the important stakeholders come to the table
• The parties are (eventually) able to express the reasons for their discomfort and distress.
• The mediator is able to control and sustain the process
• The parties are capable of living up to their promises.
  

The Mediation Process

(1) Who is Present:

Voluntary participation. Mediation is not binding until an agreement is reached. Either side can withdraw at any time prior to the formal agreement, allowing the dispute to be settled through the courts. However, this is a relatively rate occurrence.

No representatives. Lawyers may, or may not, be present throughout the proceedings. Also they may advise clients between sessions or before an agreement is finalized. However, each party is encouraged to speak for themselves.

Co-mediators. Mediators who work in pairs, rather than solo or on panels.

(2) Basic Structure

Flexible process. Mediators follow the basic structure, but do not work from a script.

Separate meetings when needed. The mediators can call a caucus with the clients whenever it seems appropriate. The purpose is to help the parties negotiate better, not to provide shuttle diplomacy.

Informal tone. Mediators strive for an informal, conversational tone, casting themselves as facilitators rather than as authority figures.

(3) Purpose and Focus

Looking at the wider picture. Parties discuss the general situation, not just their immediate complaints.

Airing emotions. Expressing strong emotion is appropriate as long as it is not an attack; however, venting emotion is not the focus or goal of the mediation.

The solutions are theirs. Parties do the hard work of speaking for themselves and working out mutually acceptable solutions. Mediators do not craft solutions for the parties.

Success is more than problem solving. The goal of mediation is to help people improve their future relations and gain confidence in the handling of conflicts. Problem solving is important, but reaching a detailed agreement is not the sole or ultimate measure of success.

Value reconciliation. Although most parties do not leave mediation as good friends, they usually come to a greater understanding of, and empathy for the other party's point of view.

Standards for Mediators

Competent performance mediators will:

• Listen actively to both sides of a crime experience;
• Identify and separate issues related specifically to the crime as well as screen out non-mediatable issues;
• Use clear language in speaking and in writing;
• Show awareness and sensitivity to strongly felt values of the parties, including gender, ethnic, cultural and lifestyle differences;
• Explore complex and sometimes contradictory factual and emotional information;
• Be a non-anxious presence:
• Be persistent in the problem solving process;
• Identify and separate the mediator’s personal values from issues under consideration;
• Demonstrate ability to understand power imbalances between oppressing sides;
• Facilitate the process so participants can determine their own appropriate resolutions, including creative options;
• Show respect for all participants;
• Maintain confidentiality;
• Invite participants into a constructive process and guide them in a process of decision making;
• Assist parties in assessing whether their agreement can be implemented.

Competent Mediators are:

• Strong in “people skills;
• Able to be directive and to confront;
• Comfortable with high emotions, arguments and interruptions;
• Imaginative in solving problems;
• Patient as parties work toward solution;
• Able to withhold judgment;
• Impartial and able to put aside one’s own opinions;
• Dedicated to a solution to the problem, rather than any personal solution.